11.17.2010

The measure of a man is not if they fail because all men do. The true measure of a man is how they react after they have failed.

A couple of my children are currently dealing with what they see a failure but what I see as an opportunity to grow. I'm no stranger to "failure" and loss but these words of wisdom from my step-father (probably quoted from his father) have often helped me to move on:
  • Understand that failure has no correlation to who you are as a man. If every great man throughout history let failure affect them then there would be no inventions that were preceded by failure.
  • Let others around you help after failing. Too many times a man falsely believes that they are alone in the world and sharing failure with others is a sign of weakness. To act like a man after a failure, a person needs to lean on others for support and encouragement.
  • Learn from the failure and apply the lessons. Often when a man stumbles, they want to forget the experience. This is a mistake. A man learns from his failings and becomes stronger when he overcomes them.
  • Help others learn from your mistakes. This is more than just sharing what happened and asking for help. Teaching others around you what mistakes you have made and helping them avoid the same failings helps a man grow and become more complete.
  • Recognize the purpose of the effort. The essence of success is the effort to succeed and not the reward of the success. It may sound trite but the journey is the key and not the destination. The joy is not in successfully finishing an activity but in doing the activity itself.

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